Thursday, December 31, 2009


wrapped in this wind
surrounding me
but with blistering cold

dense streets are filled with invisible demons
that hide ontop of backs.
you know its there but the numbingly cold
lets you forget

these closets are full of decaying bones of the skeletons that you
tossed unwillingly

dancing with this fire

what was meant to scorch now
seduces me into oblivion.

Tuesday, December 29, 2009


drippings from my mind
pieces spread about upon a table.
different pictures
jumbled dated memories
with sepia feelings
dated like old
which once brought
"new" news.
like quiet beach days
smiles, sand between toes
whispers from the ocean
breezes that caress my face
like the wind did then.
like the art that
was splattered
to everyone else it was "specks" of paint
to me
it was always more
like gray overcast days
that threw rains and dark clouds
like crumbled ideas on sheet of paper
to which although looked ominous
I always became entangled in there mysteries
children the hang and swing
from bars
laughing and giggling
because the world to them
was a big playground
living without a care
that must be the life
but does that mean
living passively
actively living for nothing
does that mean not caring at all then?
Memories hang from a mobile
that gaze
and hang upon this thin string
with wet sopping emotion

Friday, December 25, 2009

this time

maybe this time its more about me and them

and less about you.

*i hope this is right...

i hope this battle is one worth the victory..

the 'eve'

so i came into christmas the right way..and im going to enjoy christmas with my family which will be good...

but until then

scandalous photos on phones

nostalgic conversations

closed stores

crazy customers

and good ihop.

'i keep trying to find this line between insanity and insanity'

'....well, they say insanity is trying the same thing again but expecting different results'

'it could've been worse'

i may not understand you always, but i theres something about your crazyness i understand...


Thursday, December 24, 2009

only everytime

almost as diffused
as a droplet of water
that produces waves
that engulf lands
and for every breath exhaled
hurricanes and tornadoes form
that batters and drowns.
like electricity
that shocks its victims useless...

*your that sweet moment, the one you see in movies
when you finally reach that revelation,
when the character accepts fate for what it is
like tasting the last beautiful drop of life
before it comes to an end
it almost makes you realize
that before it ended
how precious it was.
and a quick longing shivers over your shoulder
because you know youll never have that feeling again..

only everytime.

Tuesday, December 22, 2009

moving towards the light
ive always felt shadows follow me
they w3ave in like webs
spotlights are the only refuge
i bathe in comforting hands

use the rays to wash off this

Saturday, December 19, 2009


oh lotus.

whisper the secrets

the ways youve triumph to bloom

even through murky waters

bunri sono houto

just scratching the surFACE

time was never my friend
we were always on two opposes forces.
either because he was going too fast and i wanted to take my time.
or because i wanted to speed through
and he made me slow things down.


i tried to take the easy way out, but sometimes the hardest thing to do is to take the other route.
im sorry i doubted
you mean more than you think. all. of. you.


You give me a feeling that I never felt before
And I deserve it, I think I deserve it
(Drake: I deserve it, I think it deserve it..Let it go)
It's becoming something that's impossible to ignore
And I can't take it

good ass song!

(and no it doesn't apply to anyone)

Friday, December 18, 2009


theres points in which its worthless,

but the only way to stop caring

is by cutting off a few strands.

hopefully the right ones...

Thursday, December 17, 2009

dear tree

dear tree,
you've grown so strong
and as you grow older
your rings tell of mistakes and triumphs
your leaves fall with such grace
and bring color along.
your roots sprout and recieve never ending knowledge.
and when winter comes,
you face storms with courageous spirit.

but dear tree,
tell me why, when your apples fall.
they poison instead of nourish?

Tuesday, December 15, 2009

"sometimes people tend to look at the big picture, instead at looking the small detail that brought that picture together"

so this time, im pulling from puddles of thoughts.
water, it can be so forgiving
washing away the bad, and leaving the new.
when it rains, it breaks to pieces of glass
only to be renewed back at the source.



your words pound at this armor
gently built by tender thoughtful hands
but by the years those hands turned rough
and this armor once hardened by metal
has become fragile like paper
paper thrown into the fire
and this fire burns through.
this armor was second skin
but now everything is full center
and for every war and battle scar
a kind word or thought could've stopped bloodshed.
for every raven, there were 2 doves.
one watching over me, and the other telling me to follow them to another path.

(i look because sometimes i want to be everything you want, i never once realized that maybe your not the everything i needed.)

Monday, December 14, 2009

words of comfort

i can be your escape.
I can be your trap.
i can be your truth.
i can be your deciet.
i can be your pleasure.
i can you be your pain.
your joy, your never ending, your next guess, your next step.
i can be your rebirth,
your renewal.
i can be your death,
your coffin. that keeps you trapped.
i can be your reaching hand,
i can be your perilous leap.
i can be your water, reviving
i can be the one crashing waves
drowning your bed.



your an angel. and a demon
theres not much left to your footprints.
and with every memory that strikes your subconscious.
you forget the detail that got you here.
the saying is the same
'play with fire and your bound the get burned'
play with hearts and your bound to get yours ripped out.
dont let mistakes become your lullaby.
that you sing to yourself at night to patch up old wounds
wounds the never healed correctly,
so with every impulsive decision
a scab falls off
and blood soaks your bandages.
this desire your fire.
is an imminent path towards the signature of your soul.
fire has no decisions, no judgement, no mercy, no compassion.
the clouds will no longer become your pillow,
but these flames will become your friend...

Sunday, December 13, 2009


your eyes tell lies
that your mouth couldn't put into words
your mind has sights
that you hid back behind those eyelids.

cause in the end it all comes back to 1.



your silhouette shines with the stars
i watched you and cradled you
my sweet little nebula
there are pieces of you i pulled apart
so i can trace it back to the start
when my eyes met yours
and your lips curved perfectly with mine.
i ripped these pages
and sprinkled them on the ground
follow them
for they spell out a secret passageway
our hidden away treasure
where our passion can thrust up within
and we reach horizons
a supernova never recorded.

like knowing whats on the otherside of the glass but wiping away the haze, to see things more clearer

Friday, December 11, 2009

cause its worst than marvelous

in a perfect imagination
these thoughts progress to a form, a new trendy fashion
i've painted the day with a color picked from the different corners of my mind
and ive projected thoughts, positive ones.
and this grass grows to a perfect length cleanly shaven.
the scent that follows you everywhere is one that is warm and inviting.
and every scene is our playground.
and every star is cradled.

Tuesday, December 8, 2009

attract -att +sub

much like the strange attractors, that, while fall along the line of chaos
when one in the same, calm like a summer breeze.

these things do not add up,
not because they don't
not because it won't
but because they do.

Monday, December 7, 2009


your speaking loudly

but your only deafening yourself


tell me something wild temptress
something i want to hear.
your hair ablaze with fire that eats away at papers
papers of poems, needs, desires, temptations.
with every step theres crunching of cities.
every tone of your voice, cracks and shakes the earth.
eyes deep, black holes
that drowns the masses within
insensitivity to life.
foresight forbade future comings to
stay stuck up in this present, but paradoxically our 'past'
with every crush that you set out against
you unwillingly make a eventually fatal blow to yourself.


Sunday, December 6, 2009


we were ghosts from the start
on different paths till one day
it all converged

you haunt my mind

we were ghosts from the start

Friday, December 4, 2009


sitting in this train
this stranger walks by

i ignore looking out this window
everything speeds by as if
we were warping to somewhere new
i guess in a sense we are

this stranger is no stranger
but someone i once shared memories with
a part of me, but more of you, stranger
pretending to hide behind a facade

your eyes roll over to me
i feel the lasers burn from your eyes
keep staring out this window

and with a touch
every 'forgotten' memory comes back
were moving forward, but everything is going back<
memories, hills, sweet dew from the morning mist, sunlight blinding me
but holding on to you, i knew without looking, you were always there
memories wrapped between sheets, and layers and insecurities and lies
and happiness, that was there hidden underneath the rock that we threw into the ocean.
oceans deep with emotions, and covering the footprints that walked along this beach.
beaches that hid and swept away the sand to our foundation,
our castles. our fortress. near meadows and lakes.
lakes that led to rivers which made small ponds and rivers that lead back to the ocean.
where emotions, and lies, and happiness delve deep.

deep into the darkness like a tattoo. that was embedded but marked over.

keep staring out this window.


we are moving foward, past this...


Thursday, December 3, 2009

Death Cab..

You're kept in an open cage so you're free to leave or stay
Sometimes you get confused
Like there's a hint that I'm trying to give you

The longer you think the less you know what to do

It's hard to see your way out
When you live in a house in a house
'Cause you don't realize
That the windows were open the whole time

Tuesday, December 1, 2009

this cold

its so unforgiving and cold
this wind

it blows without mercy
without compassion

this deceitful tundra
it once had life

and love that warmed it to its core
now it overbearing
and nevermore